stalker!
so there's this article in the school paper about a student who goes here that was arrested for stalking over the summer. they put his picture right on the front page, and the sad part of it is that the kid still goes here. i feel bad for him. i mean, that kind of image is going to be hard to shake off. sure, it is kind of creepy that he actually broke into a person's house to stalk them, but he should have the choice whether or not his face is displayed to all of the campus. the name, maybe, because then if he was smart he could always change it, but his face? everyone has to have friends, even if they are a mass murderer. come on now. how low have we gotten? sure i don't agree with what he did at all, but then again, i don't agree with what we do, either. arg. and i'm not saying that i wouldn't avoid him if i saw him walking down campus walk. but if it were me in his shoes, i would wish that people could give me a second chance, instead of just seeing a past mistake...

current mood: working to change society

*sigh*
i've gotten myself sad again. my roomate is playing "the scientist" by coldplay; a very sad, and humdrum song-- i love it, but gosh darn is it depressing. and then, as i was looking through my chemistry notebook, i found a lab sheet for ap biology last year; it reminded me of the awesome lab when we had to hunt through the grass to pick up beans with sticks and straws to simulate natural evolution. it made me sad to think of how high school used to be, how hard it was, yet so carefree at the same time, and how all of my friends would pass me in the hallway and wave a sign of hello. it's different now. there's more worries, more independence, less wavings of hello, a bigger crowd of people... it carries its good new things, but sometimes i still miss the old...

current mood: nostalgic

current music: Coldplay - The Scientist

"and i'm going back to the stars..."

so i've been amusing myself lately and doing all of these weird mind things. like yesterday, you know when you say the same thing at the same time as the person you're talking to? i did that three times, and one time we did that through five lines. it's annoying at the time, but then you're like whoa... cool. and today i predicted what lindsey would say, and said it before she did on AIM, and she wrote "dude you read my mind". i don't know if it is due to all these weird brain exercises with phil, or if it is just coincidence. although, as he would say, there is no such thing as coincidence. maybe it's my "higher self" that just knows what to say. interesting how that plays out. whoa... ashley philisophical. who would've known that that would ever happen?

current mood: happy

current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Gutterflower

never forget...


i can't believe it's been two years. two years since i was sitting in mrs. juda's english class, third period of the day, when mrs. williamson came on the intercom. yeah right. it's got to be a joke. funny how you never want to accept the worst. i'll always remember that time, those people, the planes. and my heart lies with all of those who died. god bless america.

current mood: thoughtful about the past

current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy

"and i get scared but i'm not crawling on my knees..."

"love, love, love..."
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell,
blue skies from pain,
can you tell a green field,
from a cold steel rail
a smile from a veil
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
your heroes for ghost
shot ashes for trees,
hot air for a cool breeze
cold comfort for change
did you exchange a walk-on part in the war
for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
year after year,
running over the same old ground,
and how we found,
The same old fears,
Wish you were here...

i had doubted whether i really loved you, as more than a friend. but sometimes, when you're there for me, listening to my concerns and tempting me to do better, when you share your emotions and make me feel special, i really do love you; and during those times, you're all i need.

current mood: loved, longing, and touched all at the same time

current music: Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

.stranger than your sympathy.
"it's hard to live the life you choose... when all your luck's run out on you... you can't see when all your dreams are coming true..."

current mood: awake

current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy

cloudy day...
today is the first night that i actually miss home. not home so much, and not really my family, but some of my friends. i want company right now, but no one seems to understand that. i ask if someone wants to go for a walk, but they're not into that. *sigh* and i wish he would understand more. my best friend can't share emotions. i know he probably just doesn't know how to comfort me when i'm freaking out from lonliness, and not knowing, and being frustrated from school. perhaps it is lack of sleep. i don't know. all i want to do is sit on the grass with him, and not say a word. just think. and understand. and get a really big hug. funny how i miss those. maybe tomorrow will be better.

current mood: sad

current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Think About Me

oy... it's been a little while since i posted, so i suppose i'll have to fill you guys in! :) well... sunday i ended up going to central park to buy some black pants for work-- then i worked (hehe, fancy that) for six hours or so. i made 100 dollars in two days, if taxes don't get taken off. how fricken cool is that!

so... you may be wondering how i got through this ridiculous amount of work. it actually wasn't too bad, since james and some of my other friends were there to keep me company. james is a crazy kid. he told me all of these stories about how saturday night he got "drunk off his ass," might've made out with two people, almost hit a parked car, and passed out when he got home. i was like, "that's great james. reeeall smart." he also returned to asking me about my past boyfriends-- the other day he asked whether or not i had a boyfriend, and then sunday he asked how many i've had and whether or not they were serious. thank the lord oscar (one of the cooks) came in and interrupted our conversation. it was getting a little iffy.

i must say that working sixteen hours this weekend was definitely taxing.. my back is still killing me from that escapade. *sigh* but at least i made some money. and got to talk to people. and had ample time to think of such things as relationships and stuff. woo.

so moving on to yesterday... i had classes as usual-- spanish, chemistry, and calculus... boring stuff. the only thing that made my day eventful was the loss of my college id card... luckily some guy that sounded like he was speaking swahili picked it up off campus walk and gave me a call to return it. *phew* only the third week of classes and i almost lost my college card! oy. my brain sometimes, i worry about it.

and today so far has been very dull. trying to concentrate on homework, but it just isn't working.

and i've got a new thing to learn! i want to teach myself to see auras. that would be so cool. so i'm working on it with this website phil gave me... maybe it'll work out. so far my brain seems to be pretty good at focusing on stuff like that, so it might work! :oD

the rest of the day will be devoted to a chemistry lab, writing an english essay, going to biology, and possibly venturing to work to help out. they're short staffed today, and james sent out a petition to save them from suffering. so we'll see.

love all you guys in connecticut and elsewhere; hope college life is treating you grand.

current mood: tired

current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Here Is Gone

happy feelings. certain people (and especially one person) rock my socks. ;o)

yesterday was a doozie. i got up at 9, ate breakfast and washed my uniform, and went to work at 10:30 AM to 8:40 PM. i had to work a grand total of ten hours straight yesterday; it was tiring but i suppose, in the end, quite worth it. i got to know a little more about my fellow employees, since i'm around them all the time, and i didn't have to pay for lunch. plus, i got to hang out with james quite a bit; he's a funny character, if not a little iffy. he actually suggested today that i go to a party with him and christine; that since i'm not 21 yet he'd hook me up with a fake id. reeeall great idea. *sigh* i worry about him. he did say a good joke today. instead of saying something normal like, "i have to go pee" he said "i have to take my friends to the pool." we were all like wow. bad joke.

so after my shins were thoroughly shot, i returned to my dorm room, took a shower, and went down to the eagle's nest for a bite to eat. then, since i was feeling up to it at the time, we walked down to dodd auditorium to see 'chicago' for a dollar. i liked how they did the movie itself, but i didn't like the plot or the characters... i thought it was dumb how someone who had just escaped the death penalty could be disappointed that the paparrazi weren't taking her picture. ugh. get over it woman, it's not that important.

maybe i didn't like it because i was half asleep and had trouble following any of what was going on. i had a general gist of it, but nothing too complete. ah well. i might give it another chance later on in my life when i am more awake.

major plans for today: do laundry, go food shopping, maybe to central park, and back to work at 3:30. i have no idea how homework is going to fit in this weekend. wish me luck.

current mood: exhausted (roomate had to go to mass today; woke me up at 7 AM when i had gone to bed at 1... *sigh* i still love her though, and am in awe of her devotion to religion...)

current music: Counting Crows - Round Here

today, after classes, i gathered four other hallmates and went over to central park to see pirates of the carribean for the third time over. gosh i love that movie. yes, the plot gets a little hum drum after the first time you see it, but jack sparrow, you have to love jack sparrow. and will turner! i just realized how cute he is. i need a guy that would bandage my hand after it was cut by a rusty blade.... what? that's not a weird thought at all... :P

after that movie we returned here and caught the movie down with love, the very down with love that my oh-so-favorite actor ewan mcgregor plays in!! woo! and i loved it. mostly because of him, but hey, some of the other parts were good. ;) ewan does a terrible hick accent though. i was killing myself. he should definitely stick with the scottish brogue.

then it was off to the eagle's nest with anna, kristin, natalie, sally, esther, and kati for some good mozzerella sticks and french fries. i need to start eating healthier. my stomach is beginning to retaliate against the fried foods and lack of vegetables.

and today was a beautiful day!!! nice and cool and sunny.... i felt like i was in connecticut once again, instead of broiling down south. funny how the weather can influence your mood.

so yes, contrary to this blog's opinion, this entry is really for friday, and not saturday, because well, i'm typing it at 1:30 in the morning and consider it to be "today's" events. alas.

and now, to bed!

current mood: satisfied

current music: Nine Days - Back To Me

~and he said love~