te quiero...
a few hallmates and i took the fred down to central park to grab a bite to eat at ruby tuesday and to go see 'once upon a time in mexico' with good guys like johnny depp, antonio banderas, enrique iglesias, cheech, and willem defoe. the movie itself was nicely done, although all four of us were extremely confused throughout the film.... only later we realized that that was because it was the third movie in a trilogy, so we had no background information. oops. so now i have to go rent el mariachi, desperado, and well, behind enemy lines per phil's request. but i did buy the soundtrack for the movie at borders, because SPANISH MUSIC ROCKS MY WORLD!!! :)

and the song 'don't you forget about me' played in the taxi cab on the way back to the college (we missed the fred twice)... coincidence or what? the universe has its ways of reminding about you... i also dreamed about what i wanted to last night. how spiffy.

current mood: mellow

current music: Once Upon A Time In Mexico OST - Malague?a

so an ambulance showed up outside my dorm tonight to transport someone to the hospital who lives a few doors down from me... must've been drinking too much and required medical attention. what a sucky way to spend a friday night. and it's not cool, to go and get so intoxicated that you actually need someone to save you. i wish i was on a floor like michelle has at her college, one entirely devoted to substance free housing. sadly, there are only about ten of us sub-free people here, and we all occupy one half of a hallway. talk about a big group. so we get hit with stories of drunk people all the time. luckily we won't have to worry about our roomie coming in and not knowing where they are. thank god i don't have to deal with anything like that.

man! i'm on a roll for posts today! so yeah, it's been raining like mad all day... i had to change three times because i kept getting soaked (i forgot my trusty umbrella at home in CT). borrowed my roomie's bumbleshoot for chemistry, but nevertheless, the rain was still upsetting. it's nice when you're indoors. and i mailed my little cuz a b-day card today! :) it's pretty cute... it's got this picture of some potato heads at a drive thru asking them "do you want fries with that?" they all, of course, look very scared. and why am i relating this? i don't know. i suppose i just want a pat on the back for remembering, and actually getting something for, my cousin's birthday.

work wasn't too bad... but let me tell you, the floor i had to clean today was incredible. there was grass and dried mud everywhere from the rain, jello smudged across one of the aisles, and napkins galore. it was tough work, brooming and sweeping, but when i got my paycheck for 106 dollars today it was all worth it. cleaning after college kids can be rewarding.

and i want to dream about him tonight. he says it's easy, so i should be able to, right? yes. i choose yes. so we'll see.

current mood: okay

current music: Coldplay - Clocks

what a strange walk back from chemistry class. i passed a guy carrying a pink umbrella and singing something about seven days, only to be bumped against by a guy jogging without shoes on. odd. very odd.

so i have to work tonight! and if no one interesting is on, i'm going to collapse.

stalker!
so there's this article in the school paper about a student who goes here that was arrested for stalking over the summer. they put his picture right on the front page, and the sad part of it is that the kid still goes here. i feel bad for him. i mean, that kind of image is going to be hard to shake off. sure, it is kind of creepy that he actually broke into a person's house to stalk them, but he should have the choice whether or not his face is displayed to all of the campus. the name, maybe, because then if he was smart he could always change it, but his face? everyone has to have friends, even if they are a mass murderer. come on now. how low have we gotten? sure i don't agree with what he did at all, but then again, i don't agree with what we do, either. arg. and i'm not saying that i wouldn't avoid him if i saw him walking down campus walk. but if it were me in his shoes, i would wish that people could give me a second chance, instead of just seeing a past mistake...

current mood: working to change society

*sigh*
i've gotten myself sad again. my roomate is playing "the scientist" by coldplay; a very sad, and humdrum song-- i love it, but gosh darn is it depressing. and then, as i was looking through my chemistry notebook, i found a lab sheet for ap biology last year; it reminded me of the awesome lab when we had to hunt through the grass to pick up beans with sticks and straws to simulate natural evolution. it made me sad to think of how high school used to be, how hard it was, yet so carefree at the same time, and how all of my friends would pass me in the hallway and wave a sign of hello. it's different now. there's more worries, more independence, less wavings of hello, a bigger crowd of people... it carries its good new things, but sometimes i still miss the old...

current mood: nostalgic

current music: Coldplay - The Scientist

"and i'm going back to the stars..."

so i've been amusing myself lately and doing all of these weird mind things. like yesterday, you know when you say the same thing at the same time as the person you're talking to? i did that three times, and one time we did that through five lines. it's annoying at the time, but then you're like whoa... cool. and today i predicted what lindsey would say, and said it before she did on AIM, and she wrote "dude you read my mind". i don't know if it is due to all these weird brain exercises with phil, or if it is just coincidence. although, as he would say, there is no such thing as coincidence. maybe it's my "higher self" that just knows what to say. interesting how that plays out. whoa... ashley philisophical. who would've known that that would ever happen?

current mood: happy

current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Gutterflower

never forget...


i can't believe it's been two years. two years since i was sitting in mrs. juda's english class, third period of the day, when mrs. williamson came on the intercom. yeah right. it's got to be a joke. funny how you never want to accept the worst. i'll always remember that time, those people, the planes. and my heart lies with all of those who died. god bless america.

current mood: thoughtful about the past

current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy

"and i get scared but i'm not crawling on my knees..."

"love, love, love..."
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell,
blue skies from pain,
can you tell a green field,
from a cold steel rail
a smile from a veil
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
your heroes for ghost
shot ashes for trees,
hot air for a cool breeze
cold comfort for change
did you exchange a walk-on part in the war
for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
year after year,
running over the same old ground,
and how we found,
The same old fears,
Wish you were here...

i had doubted whether i really loved you, as more than a friend. but sometimes, when you're there for me, listening to my concerns and tempting me to do better, when you share your emotions and make me feel special, i really do love you; and during those times, you're all i need.

current mood: loved, longing, and touched all at the same time

current music: Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

.stranger than your sympathy.
"it's hard to live the life you choose... when all your luck's run out on you... you can't see when all your dreams are coming true..."

current mood: awake

current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy